Meet the Cast

Five personalities. One shared delusion. Welcome to the ensemble.

Laser-Eyed Optimist

Woke up bullish. Will die bullish. Owns one (1) diamond and treats it like a personality.

Unsolicited Lecturer

Has a theory for everything and a whitepaper for nothing. Bowtie stays on during liquidations.

Exit Liquidity (Professional)

Sweats in HD. Checks charts in the shower. The hoodie says BUY THE DIP. The face says please stop.

Royalty of Compounding

Drinks from a golden cup, farms from a golden chair. Never explains what the yield is from.

Hooded Market Maker

Moves markets, ruins group chats, replies with a lightning bolt and leaves. Probably your cousin.